Mar 202010

Today is Get House Crap Done day. To aid in this, Mike descended the depths of the crawlspace. Now that’s always a horror show, but this time he came upon long buried treasure.

Olympia Beer can, circa...?

Why the fuck was there an ancient-ass beer can under my house?

Like, way under the house too. So it wasn’t like someone was drinking in what is now affectionately called The Danger Room and was somehow too lazy to go find a trash can but not too lazy to haul up that 50-pound crawlspace lid and chuck it down there. This sucker was like at the furthest possible corner from the entrance. Which means that not only was someone in the past mucking around in the crawlspace, but they made a plan to go down there for an extended period of time. There was advanced preparation here, people. Preparation that included grabbing a cold one from the fridge and then somehow managing to consume it, despite what must’ve surely been a trip bent in half at the waist. What the hell, did the previous owners sublet the crawlspace to Mole Man?

Mole Man

You'll pay, Fantastic Four! I'll show the world that mocked and shunned me! Just as soon as I get back on my feet. Aw man, rent's due on Monday too. I need a beer.

So. Many. Questions.

Including that aforementioned beer can. I have a lot of questions about the why. I even have a few about the what. But what I really need help with right now is the when. Anybody have any idea how old this sucker is? It’s got a pull-tab, so we’ve gotta be going back there. But from what I could see online the Olympia Beer brewery was still going as recent as 2003. But a beer can living under my house for 7 years isn’t anywhere near as awesome as the idea that it’s been there for thirty or more.

I mean, if you have to have trash just strewn under your house, you might as well dream big.

  • Stephanie Jane

    Wow…. like you said, SO MANY QUESTIONS. “It’s the water,” hmm??

    • Jet Wolf

      It’s sure as hell gotta be something. Who goes and sits in the crawlspace to knock back a beer? WHO DRANK THIS DOWN THERE??