May 062010
 
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What I’m doing: Racing through Lost in an attempt to catch up before the season finale airs and I get spoiled all to hell.

What this is: These are my thoughts as I watch the episode.

What’s important: In an effort to avoid spoilers, note that I won’t be reading any comments made to these posts until I’ve caught up. Feel free to say whatever you like and discuss among yourselves, just don’t expect a reply from me for the next month or so.

Stating the obvious: There are spoilers in this post for any and all events through to the episode I’m making notes about. If you don’t wish to be spoiled, please stop reading now.

 

Jump to episode:
3×19: “The Brig” | 3×20: “The Man Behind the Curtain” | 3×21: “Greatest Hits”

 

Thoughts on Lost 3×19: “The Brig”

– Locke episode. Please don’t make him suck, please don’t make him suck …

– Locke reading a file. Can we see please? Probably not. Well certainly not if you burn it!

– That’s promising, if the Locke flashback will be all about what’s been going on with him since he left.

– Close-up on Sawyer nipple, I so did not need that.

– Locke appears to have returned. In a minute the Lostaways are going to be The Others.

– Locke looking for Sawyer. REAL SAWYER NOW?

– I don’t trust anybody here, FYI. So you infiltrated The Others for the benefit of the Lostaways, I’ll believe that when I believe it.

– Mike theorizing that maybe Locke is supposed to become the new leader, like the island has chosen him.

– Re: Pregnancy raid plans. That was remarkably candid of Ben. For being such a little weasel though, he’s pretty open and honest. More so even than the supposed heroes of the show.

– But then Ben just gets up, so maybe Locke’s not the new leader then.

– Good on Desmond for not trusting Jack.

– Okay so here’s my theory for the moment: Locke’s figured out that his dad is the real Sawyer, and he’s bringing our Sawyer to kill him. They’ve said several times that Boone was the sacrifice the island demanded so Locke’s already paid his dues, at least as far as he’s concerned I’m sure.

– They’ll trust Sayid then – Good choice in my opinion.

– The bodies were in the plane wreck too? Creepy. So did The Others (or whatever company they’re part of) doctor the submarine footage or kill lookalikes and plant them or what?

– Well I haven’t figured it out either, explain to us both!

– What is that? A reflecting pool? No, wait, a ship. The Black Rock or another ship? A slaving ship then, def sounds like the Black Rock.

– Gasp it is Locke’s dad and not Ben I am surprised.

– Oh, hello Rousseau. I like how it’s all “I want dynamite”, “Sure knock yourself out.” And then she just takes the whole bloody case, jeebus. What are you blowing up, Rousseau?

– Why is he telling you this? To trick you into killing his father durr.

– How did he get to the island, yes, good question Sawyer. But listening to him, it seems that Daddy is working on my “they’re all dead, this is purgatory” idea. So yeah, that’s not the right theory.

– No wait is Locke’s dad really Sawyer shut up what you say this cannot be.

– Well at least Sawyer will finally get to deliver his letter.

– Now the only question remains, is Locke going to play that he did this for Sawyer or be honest?

– And now Kate’s gonna babble to Jack and blow it utterly. God damn it Kate. And he’s being a jerk about it with Juliet. BUT SHE’S TELLING HIM ANYWAY. Holy fucking god I hate Jack and Kate SO. MUCH. (Mike: “I think the only way I could like Jack at all is if he got Kate pregnant and she died.”)

– “We should tell her.” “No.” THPENFSNTWOU$U%)$HNGPOSQ(Q!!NGNNSUHJRE I am inarticulate with rage right now people you don’t even know.

– SNAP. Locke stole the tape recorder. Fucking shove it up Jack’s ass, Sawyer.

Overall thoughts
Writers. Seriously. I know I speak to you in the past and your futures are already written, filmed and broadcast. But please hear me. Your love affair with Jack must end. I know you think he’s great; that would be your problem.

The far more interesting part of this episode was the Locke and Sawyer stuff. Locke’s dad being The Real Sawyer – not much to say on it since I’d convinced myself of that connection last season. Glad to see I was right though. That was yay.

 

Thoughts on Lost 3×20: “The Man Behind the Curtain”

– A pregnant Frogurt on the island? Flashback? Mike’s guessing Ben’s birth.

– Ben’s mother is blonde: the painting we saw on his wall?

– Okay a road, so either not Ben or not the island. There’s a Portland sign. Not in Portland?

– Locke – Deliverer of baggies, gatherer of secrets.

– Ben is a little possessive of his connection to Jacob isn’t he.

– Looks like Little Ben is arriving at the island. So not “born” on the island in the traditional sense at least. And it all looks Dharma, so The Others are in fact an off-shoot? Of course if Ben is the oldest and we’ve already caught him in a, if not outright lie than significant bending of the truth, then he pretty much had carte blanche to create whatever reality he wanted to feed to the other Others.

– Apollo candy bars land again.

– Oh burn, there’s Roger Workman.

– And with Locke just announcing to everyone that he and Ben are going to see Jacob, I think we see quite a fraying at the edges.

– Heh. Locke’s become the audience personified now, wanting answers, wanting them now, at the expense of anything else.

– Thought: Jacob is a computer maybe?

– Okay, so there are still Hostiles here in Ben Flashbackland. So Ben is captured and takes over? Does he voluntarily defect?

– Scary lady at Little Ben’s window. Scary lady and shitty dad.

– So the girl Little Ben is hanging with, he’s obviously crushing on her hard, what with still having the doll some 30+ years later. And the little girl is blonde too, so maybe that’s who’s in the painting? And why am I caring so much who was in the bloody painting?

– “Kinda hard to celebrate on the day you killed your mom.” OH OUCH. You know, Roger Workman, I’m glad you got your skeletal head knocked off.

– Ben at the fence. Something’s going to happen clearly. Will he see the smoke monster? Oh shit it’s his mom. So he’s seeing visions too then. The island going to get him to turn off the fence then send in an army of monsters?

– Yeah, all the Lostaways gathering together to gang up on poor little Jack … the writers are totally going to turn this into a thing where he was right all along and if they’d only trusted him! It’s going to happen I know it.

– And here we have the wrong question. It’s not emphasizing the yet in “I hadn’t decided what to do about it yet”, it’s the I. Coup. Stage a coup, spare me three more seasons of watching this dickhead, please.

– Ben’s certainly fond of bunnies isn’t he. Bunnies and man purses.

– And he didn’t bother to turn the fence back on, so that’s the end of Dharma then.

– Whispers? Origin of them plz?

– Whoa hey it’s Dark Knight guy. So he … doesn’t age then? Is he really Jacob, or really the guy in charge at least? Which then immediately makes me suspicious (more suspicious) of what he told Locke last episode and what he goaded him to do.

– “Jacob feels the same way about technology as you do.” So maybe not a computer then.

– You know given everything we’ve seen I’d at least try to TOUCH the chair and see if I felt anything.

– “Heelp meee..” Whoa what hello?

– So okay now I’d be freaking my shit and– HOLY CRAP GUY IN CHAIR NOW.

– Ben: “I wasn’t born on this island.” Hm.

– And Ben kills his dad right? Mike: “The sacrifice the island demands.” The daddy issues are just running rampant on this show.

– That was a potent little gas canister there, reaching all the way back into the village.

– Geez now it really does look like The Stand.

– And there’s Dark Knight guy, looking not even a day older from the flashback when Ben was a boy.

– Yes, Ben certainly is possessive of his connection to Jacob.

– Better shoot Locke again if you really want him dead, Ben. Leave him in that pit and you know he’ll be getting his ass back out of there. Mike: “And then he’s really gonna look like a messiah.”

Overall thoughts
Surprising no one, a great deal of questions rising to take the place of those laid to rest. Obviously the greatest of these is Jacob. I don’t even know where to begin trying to make sense of that right now. Or of most of what we saw. Not going to try. Next episode.

 

Thoughts on Lost 3×21: “Greatest Hits”

– Someone in a boat. Is that the kayak thing Kate and Sawyer took over? Oh hey, is that Alex’s boyfriend? I’d forgotten about him.

– You appreciate Jack’s honesty? How can you be sure he’s being honest now??

– Guess this is what Rousseau wanted the dynami– Yeah, there we go, big boom.

– Am I supposed to care about Jack’s stupid fucking speech? Someone needs to use dynamite on him.

– Because we should all totally trust Juliet. Why is nobody questioning that part?

– I am so frustrated about all this shit that I can’t even care about Charlie’s flashback.

– Another station, the “Looking Glass”, which is underwater. Mike guessing that it’s where the cable on the beach goes in the ocean. Which was a question I kept meaning to ask and never remembered to note: Where does Hurley’s cable go?

– Charlie’s dad, who was noticeably absent later of course.

– The list, it’s Charlie’s greatest hits. #1 going to be dying so Aaron and Claire can get off the island?

– Desmond may have seen Claire and Aaron get on the helicopter, but he doesn’t necessarily see them leave safely.

– “For 90 days I’ve been asked to make decisions for this island.” Hi, no, for like 15 days, then you seized power and wielded it like a tyrant.

– God damn this show hates bunnies!

– Seriously Jack is the most uninspiring “leader” ever. I can’t wait to read up on this shit later and see if it’s only me. It can’t be only me can it?

– That’s a pretty bloody rock star looking ring to be some ancient family heirloom. Which he will, of course, pass to Aaron in a sec.

– Looks like no, he’s not giving the ring over. But he’ll probably give it to Desmond to give to them then.

– So the Desmond-meets-Charlie-in-the-rain thing didn’t happen in Charlie’s memory.

– Grar god dammit I swear “No you’re not” is Jack’s most spoken line in this show. If I could stomach it I’d go back through and do a count of how many times he says it.

– Oh great, so be a bastard to Hurley right before you likely die, well done Charlie.

– Yay Vincent is still around.

– Is Hurley going to see the ring on Aaron and realize that Charlie isn’t coming back? Oh, no, he just left it in the crib. Yeah, I wouldn’t have done that with my precious heirloom, way too easy to just get knocked in the sand or something.

– And of course, #1, something to do with Claire and Aaron.

– Charlie’s gonna knock Desmond out? Yeah there it is.

– Don’t suppose he’ll get lucky and there’ll be air up there huh? Oh there is. So it’ll probably all flood once he flips the switch then eh?

– Okay, didn’t see the gun-wielding chicks coming.

Overall thoughts
So Charlie didn’t bite it. Yet. But this was the perfect send-off episode for him, so I won’t be surprised to see him not getting out of this season alive. I didn’t think too much on his flashback beyond that, although it was nice to see them building someone up in the flashback rather than the usual tactic of ripping them to shreds.

Jack … yeah. I dunno. I can’t understand why these people are so blindly following him. They could all sit down together and still be unable to come to an agreement on the number of times Juliet has switched sides. So they’re all accepting what she says now … why? Because Jack said so, that’s the only reason. And it makes even less sense when you consider that just last episode they were talking about how they couldn’t trust Jack at this point because of his time with The Others. Not because of Juliet – Juliet was never offered up as an excuse for their mistrust. It was because of Jack, and only heightened when they heard the tape. But nothing has really changed. What’s more, I’d trust him less because he knew all of this and didn’t bother to share!

Mike pointed out that it would be even easier now for Juliet to cross them again. Just round everybody up into a neat little group and lead them right to their captors. And, again, everyone’s just “okay sure we’ll leave all our guns and our best shooters while we follow someone who, up until yesterday, lied to us to take clandestine blood samples for breeding purposes”. The level of stupidity that the other characters must sink just to make this work is frankly nauseating.

What’s worse is that I can see this turning into a Buffy season 7 thing. You know, where everyone reasonably questioned Buffy’s insistence to go back to the vineyard after getting trapped and ambushed and Xander got his eye all gouged out? And yet, for absolutely no reason that makes any sense at all, Buffy was ultimately right.

Here’s what I see happening, likely spreading over the course of the season finale and into the beginning of S4. Ahem.

Juliet leads the Lostaways to this lighthouse or whatever. The shooters meanwhile stay on the beach. They’ve already made a point of relieving Rousseau of her weapon, separating the two wives from their husbands, and making sure that Jack will be there to see all this first hand. Ben and The Others will ambush them. There will be a fight. Probably several die. I’m guessing this will include Alex’s boyfriend and Rousseau is somehow involved in that. Many are abducted – Sun definitely, Rose possibly (if Rose isn’t taken, she’ll probably be injured). The Others will, in essence, win.

Meanwhile the shooters on the beach have a fight with Ben’s Ten that he sent. I’m not sure if those Ten are in on the real plan or not, but it doesn’t much matter either way. Eventually the shooters will return to the other Lostaways to find the group in shambles. Jin will flip his shit. Bernard will feel much the same and his empathy will give English voice to Jin’s feelings. Jack will come under fire. This is all Jack’s fault. We never should’ve trusted him.

I’m not sure the specifics after that. Maybe Jack knew Ben’s group would do this all along and “this was the only way” to blah blah whatever. Or maybe he didn’t know but he has a plan to make it all okay. “I have a plan” is going to be the crux. But the Lostaways won’t believe him. Their faith is utterly shaken in Jack at this point. They’ll cast aside his idea. We tried your way and look what happened. We’re going to listen to someone else now. Probably Sayid. Sawyer will back Sayid as well – they’ve already gone to some lengths to show that Sawyer and Sayid can work together now, plus they very implicitly built Sawyer up to be a “leader” for like one episode before Jack came back, so that was presumably to add some weight to him taking charge now. Sayid and Sawyer will come up with their own plan to get the others back. Spike– Er, I mean Kate, will side with Jack. Who will then go away on his own and have a crisis of faith in himself and Kate will inflate his ego and tell him what a “leader, a great man” he is. Sayid and Sawyer will then enact their rescue plan, fail utterly, and Jack will rush in to save the day and it will work and oh we never should’ve doubted you Jack.

That’s how I call it. Prove me wrong, Lost. Please.

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