Jan 142011
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I’m in a weird place with this last Dark Tower book.

I want to finish it. I really do. I mean, I’m six invested in this series at this point. This is the end, where everything gets sorted. But I’ll be damned if this isn’t a slog. I’ve had my copy of Book 7 since my birthday, and here we are over four months later and I’m still creeping through it. For the past month I’ve gone to bed playing the trial version of Bloons on my iPhone rather than read the damned book some more.

It’s a really weird place.

I think I lost a lot of steam on Book 7 when … urg, I don’t want to spoil anybody. Arrrg.

Okay, if you don’t want to be spoilered on The Dark Tower series, back out of this post now. I’m probably going to babble a little bit and likely not say much of anything else of value in this post (especially as it has to go up in the next 29 minutes). Just stop reading now; I promise I won’t be offended.

If you’re left still reading then I assume you don’t care about spoilers for The Dark Tower for serious now.

Alright so the bit that I think has made me start to lose it with this series is when – and HOW – King offed Flagg. I’m really having trouble getting over that. Here he is, your Number One Big Bad, a dude that’s lived in your head just about as long as Roland, a guy you’ve been cultivating and developing since the late 70s, and you kill him in about three pages by having him be eaten by a crippled spider-baby.


So easily too. Mordred’s all “I’m frail and young and weak and GOUGE OUT YOUR OWN EYES AND FEED THEM TO ME” and Flagg’s all, “‘kay.”

Okay yeah, the stuff about King appearing his own book and … and dude I don’t even know. I have no fucking clue what to make of all that yet. But I’ve plowed my way on through Brautigan’s Plot Tapes and I think I maybe finally know what Breakers are (maybe), and someone in the Tet is totally gonna bite it in a second (if it is Oi I will be so angry), but still I can’t get quite get over how King just swatted Flagg away for Mordred Deschain, Spider Fucking Baby God.

My reader/writer relationship with Stephen King though, guys, I dunno. I read them and I lovehate them so hard. Why do you keep doing this to me, Stephen King? Why do I keep letting you??

However this turns out, even if I completely fucking hate how this ends, I can tell you one thing for sure: I am just so on-board with the movie/tv/movie/tv adaptation thing. I am stoked, people. I will lap it up and say thankya.

But damn I gotta make myself finish this book first. I hate you so much, Stephen King. I love you.

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